I think that if you and H kept along the same path as you were going, you would be a WAW in a few yrs from now.
It's symbolic that everything is coming to a head on your 40th birthday. It's time to put you and your sense of self back into the picture. It's not fun watching your H's reactions to your changes, even from the distance of the BB because we have all been there, in some form. It's time for him to grow up. He is acting like a scared but stubborn child. It's also time for you to be the one to detach from his responses and take care of yourself. Some people need the wake up call of separation/divorce to change. Hang in there.
