JJ, I see enough passion here to possibly save this marriage IF the two of you have the guts and willingness to crawl into the curcible NOT over the issue of HD/LD but over the issue of why you have to keep making it about HD/LD.
He is clearly angry at you for trying to make him into something he is not. You are angry because he seems to be withholding something so easy to give that would make you happy. That anger is something to work with. Anger is right next door to passionate love.
If you can both put down the weapons and take off the masks, you might fall deeply and nakedly in love-- and then I think the mechanical details of who initiated more and whose O's went off the chart would become completely irrelevant.
