It's Unanimous- We both want out.

[MJontheMend]

I would like it if some of the HD men on the board could imagine what it would be like if they woke up tomorrow morning and found themselves married to a 300 lb. woman who looked like Rush Limbaugh. How high would their drive be then? It doesn't matter whether it is the chicken or the egg. The fact is that either I am too unattractive by virtue of my physical appearance or personality to "turn on" my H or he is too LD to be turned on by my reasonable attractive appearance or personality. Because he is a finicky LD man to him I am unattractive much of the time. It doesn't matter if I try to be a nice wife and do nice things for him for the same reason that it wouldn't matter if the 300 lb. Rush wife did nice things for the HD guys. It's hard to feel sexual attraction for someone simply based on their niceness. It doesn't matter that I know that I am reasonably attractive. I don't look reasonably attractive to my finicky husband. Except that after a few weeks have gone by and his testosterone has reached a higher level than his finickyness and then I start to look attractive to him.

His current POV is that I am unwilling to do my part to address the problem in our marriage because I won't accept the fact that he is finicky/LD and do whatever is necessary to make myself attractive to the point that I would appeal enough to even someone as finicky as him that he would want to have sex with me 2x a week. He told me this morning that if I am not willing to do that then I either really don't care that much about sex or I don't care that much about our relationship. He says he's done all he can do to fix the problem by taking his herbal sex supplements.

BTW- He also told me that I am exacerbating the problem by belonging to this BB because talking about our sex problem probably makes me more HD.

AAAAAARGH!!!!