I'm not feeling too guilty because I didn't sleep with anyone and my desire to "experiement with singlehood" was simply that...an experiment to see if I could get some validation as my esteem is sort of low for some unknown reason...thank goodness I have a C. It's probably due to an extended visit to my mom's house in late Nov. who knows.
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And what was that motivating force? If you are doing what you feel you need to do to address the sitch., why post it? You don't have to answer me, just think about it.
Funny...I was asking myself that this morning. I think my frustration with her came to a head with our confrontation. Sure I confronted her immediately but the feelings lingered. She heard what I said, repeated it back so I was certain that she heard me.
But the real issue isn't her initiation style. It's that I'll say..."I've yet to see you initiate in the past 2 months" her response is "I asked last night if you are coming to bed". Either she is grabbing at straws, OR, in her mind, she was wanting me to come up for sex but communicating it in a way that doesn't convey it.
SO...remember my daughter's song - dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ? Recognize it? Sound familiar? Here, I'll refresh all you folks on this story. For our anniversary, my D6 wrote the dum-dums above on a card and gave it to me. It's the Wedding March song. In her mind, she was hearing the song and transcribing what she heard. So...given that example of the fruit not falling far from the tree....
Can you recognize the difference between these 2 questions....
"Are you coming to bed?"
-and-
"Are you coming to bed?"
My W was thinking about sex during the first one, no wait...the second, no the first...hmmm. Do you folks get my point? This quality of hers has been exposed on numerous occasions now that we use active listening. She "thinks" one thing but says another and then assumes that the person heard what she was actually thinking. She used to always yell at me "you are not listening to me...you aren't getting it". That's our cue to enter "active listening mode" (for geeks on this board, it's like switching from UDP to TCP (damn I'm geeky)).
The good news is that we know how to discuss it now. I bet this is what is happening. If it's not, and she's truly trying to BS me, a convo about this will push her closer to a crucible.
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Sorry if I came across rather harsh today. I really can't help but think that your guilt led you to tear into your W. You handled the situation well with her lame initiation, yet you didn't mention it. You wanted to heap on her head. Which is fine. We all do that. If I am wrong, I apologize. If I'm not, just think about it so you can work with your C to put whatever demons are eating at you to rest.
I'm not feeling too guilty...it was a good experience to draw out the opinion of one of the women we were with that night. She gave me an ass-kicking of Corri proportions. I was actually thinking about you Corri alot that night because this one woman reminded me a lot of you (or whatever it is I think of you).
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And I can tell you... a face full of Corri ain't NOTHING compared to what my shrink used to deal out....(shudder)...
Mmmm.....a face full o' Corri
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
