Yes it is a copout. I never intended to suggest otherwise. I would guess that Dave has figured this out by now.
As far as the desire, I was only going off of what he has posted here before. He seems to be very tolerant and accepting and happy of any positive changes she attempts to make. Perhaps he is overstating his benevolence, who knows. But if there is NEVER any remark that she wants sex, for herself and because she wants him, and ALL the remarks are in the "let's do this so you don't get crabby" vein, then he will have no reason to believe that she desires him.
And, quite honestly, I do want my H to show his desire in a certain way--we all have preferences. But I no longer hold that out as a requirement. If he is willing to own his sexual urges and communicate them to me in a way that leaves no room for misunderstanding, then I will accept it graciously. (what he used to do in the past was throw out a well-camoflaged "maybe it is and maybe it isn't" signal and then let me be the one to drag it out of him, while he acted like my Sexual Savior. yuck!)
And, you know, the only reason I would even suggest that she is wrong is because he has asked her to not do this and she continues with it anyway.
There has to be SOME forward movement in order for him to keep his goodwill flowing towards this aspect of their sex life.
