No, no, I meant that she needs to step up to the plate re: initiation. The crappy invites have got to go. I agree with you that she has stepped up to the plate in terms of being willing.
But he is asking her to own her part of it and STOP with the "if we don't go do this, you'll get crabby" stuff. That is so insulting I can't even find the words for it. It most certainly is a contributing factor in why he felt the need to pull that ridiculous bar stuff. She is refusing to show him that she desires him. He is choosing to wig out and seek other validation so I'm not defending his actions. But she is, without a doubt, contributing to the situation.
I believe that his trip back to the counselor is a way for him to get hold of his energy and begin channeling it back into the relationship. He has not said that he is disappointed with the changes she has made or that he is unhappy about her willingness to ML. He just needs her to own the fact that sometimes she wants to ML to him and it is not all about her being altruistic.
A need to feel sexually desirable to our mate is NOT an unrealistic expectation. And just because she has made strides in other areas does not get her off the hook in this one.
Having said that, I totally agree that the LD monster generalization is alive and well.
Been guilty of it myself a time or two. And ONLY two!
