Quote: 4. I was looking at the calendar and it's been 5 days, I don't want you getting wierd...you want to go upstairs?
It is about communication. It's about her communicating to her husband in a way that lets him know she is dismissive of his desires. It's highly insulting and meant to put him in his place. It's belittling. In the above remark she actually insinuates that if she doesn't give in and give sex she will have to deal with his weirdness...insanity...craziness. Hell, the next thing you know she will be rolling her eyes at him. Her style of communication is calculating. It's done on purpose and done with the intent of sending him the message that him and his sex drive are beneath her but she is willing to put out to keep from having to deal with him and his mood if he doesn't get some. It's covert emotional abuse and he has every right to be hurt and upset by it.
It's almost as if she goes out of her way to keep him from feeling warm and fuzzy. This is an adult woman with average communication skills I assume. Even an idiot could find better words that those.
How are married people supposed to communicate? With caring, concern and a genuine interest for the other person's feelings. Why shouldn't she express the same interest in him that she would if he were someone she was picking up in a bar? What is wrong with him wanting that level of interest from her...even though they are married? He is vying for his wife's attention and has every right to expect it. He has every right to expect a decent level of communication, especially when it comes to something as important as sex.
When I read Dave's post on Corri's thread my first thought was how childish to get that wrapped up in whether or not someone tried to pick you up in a bar.
Then I remembered back to the kind of damage that can be done to a person who is continually rejected by the person they want the most. I realized it wasn't childish of him. His thoughts about himself, his confusion over his own image and the apparent struggle he is having right now is a direct result of an uncaring wife who would rather dump her lack of sexuality off onto him and make him the bad guy.
She is comfortable with the present situation. She is only going to go so far when it comes to finding a solution to her own problems and then she will crawl back into her comfort zone. I bet if she knew her husband was to the point of taking off his ring in a bar she might have to let go of some of her comfort and feel a bit of his discomfort.
