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[ValerieA]

Hi, BeingMe.

When I think of moving to another city, where I don't know anyone, having to rely on my H for support (emotional and financial), and still have to deal with the fact that I don't trust him completely, I get absolutely terrified.....I know I have to give this M one more chance, but I am taking a huge risk moving all that way. I'm just not sure I am doing the right thing.

I don't have any advice to offer, but I wanted to let you know that I totally understand where you're coming from.

My H always talked pre-bomb about moving to Arizona. At first, I was considering it, but the more I thought about it, I didn't want to. We have sooo many ties here. Family, friends, great neighbors, etc, etc.

One issue in my sitch is that H perceives me as controlling, so the moving thing fits in there since I wasn't really for it.

Now that I have this insight (H seeing me as controlling), I have been thinking and wanting to do more for H. Well, he is bringing up the subject of moving there again. So I figure, ok, we can go check things out and if I like what I see, then why not?......Oh yeah! Now I remember. We won't have any family or friends nearby, the kids will have to adjust to a new school, and H will be the only one there in AZ for me. What if things don't work out or begin to fall apart again between H and me? I will have moved all that way, and I will be all alone.

Yes indeed. Very scary thoughts.

I think my H believes that a change of scenery will help the healing process. He has told me that he feels like he messed up everything here so badly. H said he thinks we could be very happy in AZ.

Well, I don't think it will happen anytime soon. One thing is for sure: my M will have to be a WHOLE LOT stronger before I take that kind of chance. I will have to be able to trust H again completely before making a BIG move like that.

Again, I just wanted to let you know I understand how you feel.

JV

BTW, sorry for the rambling!