Back on Track

[BeingMe]

When I think of moving to another city, where I don't know anyone, having to rely on my H for support (emotional and financial), and still have to deal with the fact that I don't trust him completely, I get absolutely terrified. Is he moving us all there just so he could be closer to OW, and make the EA physical (if it hasn't already gone that far - a plane trip from her city is just one hour)? I wonder about this, and try and put it out of my mind, but the thought does scare me. I know I have to give this M one more chance, but I am taking a huge risk moving all that way. I'm just not sure I am doing the right thing. I have prayed about it, and will do so everyday, in the hope that a clearer answer will come to me.

I feel myself holding my emotions at a distance, just in case I have to deal with all the hurt again. He still doesn't seem to be doing the things one would expect of a person who is trying to rebuild lost trust. For example, he is not keen on going into counselling again, and would rather try and work it out by ourselves. He will go, if I want, but that's not the way it works - he must want it too.

Oy! I just don't know what to do. On top of all that, my D12 does not want to move, and I don't blame her. There has been so much upheaval in the last year, and she does not want to leave her school and her friends.