Back on Track

[BeingMe]

Just doing some journalling .... probably lots of rambling ....

It's been a somewhat emotional weekend. We told D12 the whole situation. She took it quite well, but felt ill this morning and didn't want to go to school. We insisted. my S17 also didn't want to go to school. I insisted. I feel as if my family is just falling apart. I told my H that he had better be happy after all this, because we are all paying a huge price for it. At the moment, he is playing the nice guy routine, but steadfast in his desire for the D. He wants me to turn to him for comfort, and support, but I can't because he has let me down too many times, and too badly this time. He just doesn't understand. I suspect now, that my H is a fool, and a selfish one at that, and that he is emotionally stunted, and has very little, if any, empathy. He does not seem to have any idea how his actions have affected us. He seemed quite relieved that D12 didn't get hysterical. And, that's all that matters to him, that everyone pretends they're okay, so that he can go off and do his thing. I am hopping mad right now, but I will vent here, and not say a thing more to him. It's probably time for him to move into his own room, so that I can start getting used to sleeping alone.

I just need to get over him, and get on with my life. Only I can make myself happy, and I intend to be so again.