He lied about being in love with me again - last November. He said he had felt pressured to tell me that, even though I had not put any pressure on him at all. In fact, I was leaning toward separating, but he was not. So, I have no idea how his brain is working. I was reacting to a person I thought was in love with me, but now find out that he has lied - again. I am so frustrated! Is this MLC behaviour?

Anyway, we have talked about how we should do this. He will remain in the house until it's ready for selling - needs renovations. He will continue to support me (and the kids, of course) then we will make the separation official, once the house is sold - probably by summer 2006. He will also pay for me to go back to school to upgrade my skills so that I can get a job where I can be more independent of him (my idea).

He is totally weird! Now he wants to ML! Now he wants to kiss me on the lips! He asked me if he could still talk to me about everyday stuff - like his new job! WTF! It has been such an emotional 3 weeks, trying to figure him out, having R talks, upsets, etc. and now this. I gave him a letter explaining where I stand right now, and in it I told him that I am not happy about our ending our 20 year R, and that I won't lock the door, but I will be moving on (he had said that I shouldn't close any doors - ). If he wanted to resume our R, I may or may not be there for him, and he will have to realise that risk.

I am somewhat annoyed because I was ready to move on last year, but now I re-attached myself, and have to drop the rope - again! I am not picking it up again unless he makes some drastic changes, and I don't think he will. I have given up on hoping for anything from him - I have no more expectations.

And so - I will continue to GAL! Work on my goals! Forget him and his weirdness. I have decided, however, that I am going to drive the man even more insane before next summer, when we plan to go for the official separation. I told him that I still expect him to honour his marital vows until the D is final and that, therefore, we can negotiate sexual contact between us. I will flirt! I will be doing stuff that will drive him crazy! I don't know what, but I will find out from somewhere (NOT porno, of course). It will be done with my own creative nature. He will leave this marriage wondering very seriously if he was doing the right thing. Sex is not the only thing that I will use to drive him insane - no, no - there are other things that one can use, I'm sure. I have had it with him playing around with my feelings - he WILL be taught a very serious lesson. And, then I will move on to greener pastures.

I will also keep my sense of humour which has seen me through so much.

Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim