I know you're right, Phoenix! I am trying very hard staying the course. I guess I'm hoping for that grand gesture, that one thing that will make it known to me that he is trustworthy, that he's not hiding anything from me, that he does truly love me, and that he's not going to just leave when things get tough. I go through cycles where I imagine him going to the OW, deserting us - I know it's crazy. He has a chance at a really good job at an international company, and he said to me (by mistake) that they have offices in the UK, and then changed it to the USA. It made me think that he's still planning on going there to meet her. With a better salary, and opportunity to transfer to an office there, what's stopping him, I ask myself. Yeah, I know, the answer is me and the kids!

I have been giving myself pep talks, and I have come to the conclusion that I need to be okay with whatever he decides to do down the line. Initially, when the bomb was dropped, he intended staying until this summer, and although he says now that he's changed his mind and is staying for good, I still wonder. So, I wait for the summer, and my goal is to be okay within myself, no matter what decision he makes about his life. I can and will move on, but I hope I don't have to. I must stop making myself crazy with all these counter-productive thoughts, and pointless R discussions with my H - it will get me nowhere, and it's going to take time for him to 'get it', if he ever does.

Hope you're all having a romantic Valentine's day. I decided to change my personal Valentine's day to Feb. 16. Heheheehe!

Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim