Thanks for the input, Kelly - we've actually been doing most of that all along, the biggest mistake was to give her a little bit of independence (like riding the bus to her friend's house, going to the movies with friends without adult supervision) which seemed appropriate to her age but apparently not in this day and age!
I really do think, though, in D14's case, that this acting out may be linked to her medications (we are lowering her dose slightly on advice of her psychiatrist) - or - perish the thought - an early indication of some kind of manic episode.
Note that it's not that I think it is abnormal for a teen to experiment or rebel - I'm actually not worried about S13, because I see his actions as being totally consistent with his risk-taking, leader-of-the-pack mentality. Obviously he needs better supervision too, but I don't see him as having a serious issue, just ordinary teen stuff. My D, though, this is so uncharacteristic for her, and it escalated so fast - just really seems odd and unstable (especially after her fireworks show in the psychologist's office).
BTW - my D did go through a phase of cutting too - after her ED was exposed, while she was gaining back the weight. She described it as feeling like she needed to be punished for all she was putting us through (even though we never made her feel that way) - she stopped finally thank goodness.
