There are some concerns about Prozac possibly initiating bipolar illness - although actually, the studies suggest it does so less than other older antidepressants, and it's really not clear whether antidepressants "cause" this or just "unmask" something that was going to appear anyway.
I will be speaking to D's psychiatrist this week though about possibly tapering her down on the drug (although I'm a bit terrified of the possibility of the eating disorder reappearing.)
I was supposed to leave on Wednesday for this weekend snowboarding trip with H - and was SO looking forward to it - but finally decided tonight that D just seems too unstable to me for me to leave her for five days with my mom. Especially since she is starting school this week at the new school/ independent study program, I really feel I need to stay here. She is excited so far about the prospect, I hope her enthusiasm will continue after she meets her teachers and fellow students tomorrow. There is just something kind of pressured about her right now that makes me nervous. The good thing, though, is that she has very high ambitions for herself academically at this new school - she has expressed a desire to get all As, I would be happy but worry about her perfectionism surfacing (couldn't she please say she wants to get all As and a B? ).
meanwhile, S13 is still interested in pursuing this program as well, he came in for an interview today to start the application process. Just call me the Accidental Homeschooler!
And i got an email response from an insurance agent I had queried before all this started. He was quite pessimistic about malpractice insurance coverage for a medical "coaching" practice - says despite not actually treating patients, there would still be big liability issues, and because of the likelihood of clients from multiple states or even abroad, most insurers would not touch it - meaning I would have to go with more expensive insurers, who provide less coverage - estimating maybe $12,000 a year for pretty bare-bones coverage. Pretty discouraging. Will get some other opinions though.
Hey, one good thing though - new carpet came today for the kids rooms! We can finally start moving all their junk back into their rooms. I was starting to feel like one of those crazy hoarders, you could barely stumble around the house for all their stuff all over while their rooms were being painted.
It was starting to make me feel really uncomfortable - which is so unusual, because I am not by nature the neatest person. In fact, when my clean-freak H would go away on business for a weekend, I used to revel in not making the bed and going to bed with the dishes dirty and throwing my clothes around the bedroom - then scramble to pick up before he got home.
But living in all this clutter this week started to get to me - and I realized today, this must have been how my H felt. No, our house was never like this - in fact, I would have rated our home as solidly at the 50th percentile for tidiness with three small children - but for my H, it probably FELT like it was this cluttered - and he probably FELT the same discomfort I've been feeling this week. Poor guy. Ellie
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