Quote: PS..........How's your married life going? You doing well?
Quite well, thank you, Berto. H has been a real rock through this last week. He and I were supposed to go snowboarding together in Big Sky Montana next week for 5 days (he's lecturing there) but after reading that journal yesterday, I don't see how I can go. And we were SO looking forward to a romantic getaway together!
Funny little story about H though - when all this stuff came out about D and S and the pot, etc. - one of H's responses has been to insist to me that one of the things that we HAVE to change is that the kids are going to start keeping their rooms clean all the time.
I say it's funny because A) obviously I don't think room cleanliness will prevent drug use or eating disorders
B) their rooms can get cluttered at times but realistically, they are about in the middle of the curve for teenager's rooms, certainly not terrible. We do have a cleaning lady in every two weeks, so they never get that bad anyway, since they have to pick up before the cleaning lady comes.
C) I smile to myself because now I understand what is really going on - my H is the one who feels anxious if there is clutter, and since he's feeling really anxious about all this other stuff, the clutter is one thing he focuses on to control that would make HIM feel better.
And I smile because I understand that whole dynamic now (did I mention I think the OCD gene comes from H's side of the family ? ) and I no longer take it personally as an attack on my mothering and housekeeping, but simply realize that he will feel better if the kids keep their rooms neater.
D had some friends over for pizza and a movie last night. (One of the plans we came up with for keeping a social life as she transitions out of school). I was relieved to see that she invited mostly older friends from "before' this druggie period, nice girls that love my D and were very supportive through her ED struggles. I think this is part of my D realizing herself that she wants to back out of this dark world she has entered.
(D has also discovered a passion for cutting hair, after she successfully chopped her own hair off - with my permission - last month. She gave three of her friends haircuts last night - only after I got maternal permission though. Not simple trims - shags with bangs and stuff. Terrifying! ) Actually - here I've been thinking it is so weird, the haircutting - but I have always cut my H's hair ( a habit born of our poor student days, and now it's just more convenient) - so I guess she thinks it's just normal?
Okay - kids will be getting up soon, H comes home soon from a brief out of town trip, I will need to fill him in on the journal stuff before our meeting with D's psychologist this afternoon. Wish me luck!
) and I no longer take it personally as an attack on my mothering and housekeeping, but simply realize that he will feel better if the kids keep their rooms neater.
) Actually - here I've been thinking it is so weird, the haircutting - but I have always cut my H's hair ( a habit born of our poor student days, and now it's just more convenient) - so I guess she thinks it's just normal?
