Almost a month after meeting you and I finally found your thread! For those who haven't been lucky enough to meet Ellie in the flesh, as I have, she is lovely, warm, intelligent, and full of wisdom and support -- just as you would picture from her thread.
Well, darn it - JUST when I'm starting to feel like things are on an even keel again - the rug gets pulled out from under me again.
This time, it's finding out that D14 and S13 have been smoking pot, and D14 has been cutting school (WHY do they bother to take attendance if they're not going to call the parents when they go missing??????)
My stomach is in such a knot right now, I can't tell you. And of course this means another big "project", as neither of them can be unsupervised after school now, and there will be random drug tests to administer, and certain "friends" they will not be allowed to see. They've just lost a big chunk of their freedom, and of course, that means so have I!!!
We'll get through it, of course, but right now I'm just really having a lot of trouble with that whole "shifting reality" thing - you know, like when your spouse dropped the bomb, and the whole life you thought you had broke apart and shifted into something else entirely? This is the third time in three years and I'm really starting to feel a little like a post-traumatic stress patient!!!
Can't I just go to sleep and wake up in five years when they're all grown?
No you can't do that (wake up in five years, that is), and all I can say is I understand how relentless this parenting life is...and how daunting in today's world.
I'm so sorry, Ellie! I KNOW you will get through this, but I am sorry.
This is a real kick in the stomach. I can only imagine what you are going through. Where the heck was she when she was not in school? Yikes.
If it is ANY consolation... I was the total truant...but I waited until high school to do all my acting out. Hmmm.
I taught school for many many years and I think I can tell you that the good news is, your kids are young enough to really get the fear of God (MOM?) and change their ways.
Yeah, you are going to lose a lot of your freedom. And they will have to work long and hard to regain your trust. But, with you at the helm, Ellie...they will be steered in the right direction.
Supposedly, the cutting school was mostly to hang out at Taco Bell with her friends. Kind of explains her crappy school performance this semester (and I thought she was having trouble concentrating because of her high-dose Prozac for her ED!).
I do think the fear of MOM will be helpful still. I worry most about D14, because the ED bb is full of stories of girls with EDs going on to have major drug problems. I want my OLD D back, the one I had before the aliens abducted her!
I think we need to start planning a California spa weekend somewhere - I need it! What do you think - Maya, Azure, GBO, Bridget, SG - can we pull it off? I don't need anything fancy - just a warm pool to lay down by, and a margarita.
Yeah, what Maya said too (what are we all doing still up????). You will get through this, but UGH to being the strong one all the time (I do have an inkling of that, as the oldest child when our parents died, and of course as the the LBS/primary parent). When is MY nervous breakdown scheduled?
