Quote: Is this so you can contribute to the family income, or some other reason? When are you going to look for work? Has your H been OK about you staying at home these last few months/years?
Ostensibly, it's so we can pay for upcoming college expenses in the next few years (S18 goes to college in the fall) although we could easily afford the first one on H's salary if H would rein in his spending a bit. The REAL reason is H married a professional woman and is just uncomfortable with me being home - plus, he's feeling pressured by things at work, and would like to have my income to fall back on should he decide to make a career change.
The flip side, of course, is that he still wants me to be available to travel with him (he's making plans for a two to three week vacation this summer - wondering what kind of job he thinks will let me off for that long a time period after I've just begun?) - and be home for the kids in the afternoon - and still run the household and keep things together at home so he can play on his weekends off and not have to do laundry etc.
My quandary? Truthfully, I DO want to go back to work, because as good as things are with us now, I don't EVER want to feel financially vulnerable again, and frankly, I never will know when his depression might send him off the deep end again. I was off work the first couple of years because of my thyroid problems, then the year of H's affair happened just as I was getting ready to look for work, and it really took all my energies to get our marriage back on track. Then, just as I was getting ready to look again for work, my D's eating disorder hit, and thankfully I was free to do the 24/7 monitoring for 6 months that needed to be done.
Now, of course, I'm left with a pretty big hole in my resume - I'll have to figure out how to work around that. But really, my bigger problem is figuring out what I want. I used to work in a busy urgent care center, but I really don't want to return to that busy, pressured environment - plus I've found that one legacy of my thyroid problems is that I just don't multi-task very well anymore. And the malpractice environment in the US is such that even a really good doctor (and I will say, I am REALLY good) gets sued anyway, and malpractice suits are stressful, even when you win them. Urgent care is particularly prone to this, because you see so many new patients.
So what would I like to be doing? Patient education is really my passion. I'd love to be a medical "coach" who answers people's health questions and points them in the right directions to get their problems solved - just can't figure out how and if people will pay for such a service. It would be great to do it online, then I could travel with h and still work, and arrange my hours to suit.
I could see myself working with the medical aspects of eating disorder patients - on an outpatient basis - but that would require that I be available on a consistent basis - not really compatible with my goals to be home for the kids in the afternoons and available for travel with my H.
I would love to work with thyroid patients.
I could see myself going to work for one of the new companies that will be offering genetic testing direct to the public (I have a real interest in genetics and disease) - but such a job would likely require a full-time commitment, and travel, and possibly relocation - not an option.
AND I have some books I want to write - especially one on eating disorders, and one on self-diagnosis - but I must admit, my progress on it has been slow, and H is not willing to wait on such an uncertain source of income.
And the cost of malpractice insurance is such that starting a private practice of any sort, if planning to only work half-time, is not really economically viable.
Hmmmmm....I guess what I'm saying here is, I really want to do something I love, I really need it to be flexible, and ideally it would be lucrative, so that H will feel more free to change his work situation if he becomes more unhappy with it.
