Quote: I get the feeling you guys think I'm shoving these intense conversations down his throat all the time...
Uh huh.
Quote: well, I'm here to tell ya, the guy is a talker, an analyzer, and he's got the longevity of Castro.
That one's hard to believe, but I'll have to take your word for it.
Thanks for filling out the picture. It does sound more balanced than you first let on. Yay you for listening and validating and not flying off the handle.
Quote: Then, he went out and made himself an appointment to look at some properties. Alone. This, in my book, is once again choosing himself over us, especially in light of conversations we had this weekend about being ready to settle down.
Can you get to that calm, compassionate, nonjudgemental place to ask him what it means in his book?
As for the bigger issues, unfortunately people often have different ideas about the importance of telling the truth, and what sort of Rs are acceptable outside a primary R. Big differences may be impossible to bridge (and look out for that nasty tendency to polarize, which makes small differences look like big differences). Any differences should be the beginnings of conversations. What's most important is that you bring a willingness to understand each other, and to do what you can to meet the other person's needs, without compromising your own bottom line.
Marshall Rosenberg talks about how we often focus on the one particular way that we want to get a certain need met. We foolishly fail to open ourselves to all the other possible ways that particular need might be met. H2H has also talked about how we might fail to notice progress or solutions if they don't look exactly like we expected.
I'm a little fried. I don't know if there was anything helpful (or even coherent) in all that. Anyway, I applaud your decision to take a little breather and figure out yourself a little more before continuing these convos.
