Quote: Sure, I think it's a positive that he can express his needs, but I'm not sure they jibe with mine.
Isn't that what SD said?
Quote: Do I want to be with someone who withholds something like that from me? To me, it's a measure of control. He wants to control, and he doesn't want to share. It's not just him keeping something that was always his for himself. He's actually taking it away.
So how would you state your own need for something shared to remain shared? If the R is strong enough for him to be honest about his needs, it can withstand your own honesty, right?
My point is that you ask a very good question about what you want or don't want. You need to explore with S whether withholding this is a true need for him, if it's really "taking away" in your mind.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
