So, now that you've had a little time to think about it, have you apologized to S about the gardening thing? Told him how happy you are that he is being attentive to his own needs and up front about stating them? How much more secure you feel knowing that you won't be inadvertently stepping on his toes and subject to surprise resentments erupting later? How you feel so much more able to meet his needs, knowing that he'll express them?
You probably think I'm off the wall, but I see S's statement as nothing but a huge positive. He's willing to be honest with you and take care of himself. When you perceive it as a negative, all I can think is that you're threatened by S not wanting the exact same thing you want, or feeling the exact same thing you feel about everything. Differentiation can cause anxiety, but it's still a good thing.
Welcome back again. I missed you. I'm hoping that I'll be seeing more of P in the future. I'm fearing that that will give you an opportunity for payback as I toss my brilliant insights out the window and shoot myself in the foot. Then again, maybe the thought of that payback will keep me in line.
