I noticed that when we were first married, my husband was always GRABBING me, and it drove me crazy! I would get really mad, because it wasn't like a nice romantic caress or anything and it offended me. After he finally got it that this did not turn me on, it seemed that things were about equal for several years, but aside from the grabbing, he has always seemed to be able to "take it or leave it" . If he could have it, great- if not, no big deal.
It has progressed now to where it is usually me making the suggestion earlier in the day, but often is him, but when it comes to making it happen later that night when kids are in bed, he is always too tired, or has to get up early, whatever.
Its almost like he is "humoring" me to show interest, but he really couldn't care less if it happens or not.
Feelings: the biggest are disconnect, resentment, and feeling ugly and unwanted. (rejected)
I am easily overly impressed with other men, and seeking approval/interest from them. I don't know if this is related or not, but I go through periods every couple years where I develop a strong crush on another man. Though I have never cheated, it surely has crossed my mind, because I so want to be WANTED.
It makes me feel critical and disappointed in my h also. Kindof like, "if he was really a man, he would..." I feel a little ashamed of him, and definetly sad when I hear my friends talk about how their husbands want it all the time.
