michele- thank you for addressing this problem! i am very new to this site but not to this issue. in a nutshell, when my H and i got together i was very HD and he was very LD, but we were very young. i thought i would just change that part of him because he was a man after all, and aren't all men really HD? of course now i know that you can't change people, but now we have 14 years of relationship and kids. our previous separation went pretty well (we reconciled) and therapy went well too, with thte exception of H not following through with the sexual issue solutions. he was willing to do everything else, and said the right things about his sexual issues but has not actually followed through on them. i hate to nag and he is so uncomfortable talking about our sex life. i have gone through years of depression, weight gain, self loathing, and self denying. the things that i want from a R are not things that i think it is realistic to ask of him. so what next?
