Hello,
I cannot wait for this book! I've always been HD. H does not care as much about it and says that I care about it too much. I am 36 and he is 34. He has a very physically demanding job which makes him tired and sore a lot. We have been separated a couple times and when we got back together, he was all gung ho and initiating, being passionate, and creative. Then as time goes on, it seems to fade away. I wonder if I have to go away (we were in the same house, just diff bedrooms) to get him to appreciate me again. I also discovered that he was using internet porn. I know some say that that is not a big deal, but when you have a hottie ready and waiting, it doesn't make sense. A lot of it, he says, has to do with the first few years of our r. I was very jealous, insecure, fearful, and I would get upset all the time. So, he said that he didn't want to have sex with me, so he would use porn as an outlet. He assured me a million times earlier in the r that he wouldn't be interested in other women and that if he was, he would leave.

Ok, so maybe I am naive, but I WANT to dedicate all of my sexual energy toward him and expect the same. I would love to be more flirtatious, passionate, and spontaneous, but I feel like I have to suppress those feelings and just accept it when I get it. I would enjoy looking at male porn and m'bing myself sometimes, but I feel resentful if I do, and somewhat guilty, b/c I want h's energy for me and would do the same for him. I wonder if I should take care of myself and deal with having sex less often than I would like. Not cheating, of course though.

I also quit my job half a year ago in effort to make more money so he could make a move which would require a pay cut. Well, my job isn't working out well, and I am making considerably less money. I am looking for a new f-t job and I am taking an additional p-t job to supplement my commission only job. So, I know that he partly resents me for this. And I resent him b/c he never wanted to join money with me. It's a big mess right now (financially). We've actually been getting along well for the past couple months. H initiated a D in May (again) but changed his mind.

You may get mad at me for saying this, but we do have sex about 3-4 times a week now. He has felt a lot better about our R, so he is more interested. I still would like it more and for there to be more spontaneity/variety, or even twice in one day! (Lack of variety has been one of his complaints, so I have made effort to get new toys or try something else, but he doesn't come up with much new stuff.) Doesn't seem fair to me.

I just don't know if we will ever be compatible in this area, so now we're hitting the typical biggies-money, sex, communication. I love him dearly and don't want our m to end...And, no, he won't go to MC.