I am not sure if you are still doing research for your book but since I am new to BB (having just read SSM), I thought I would add my story.
My husband I started dating when I was 18, he was 23. We were married after two years of dating. Most of our courting was spent sexually frustrated. We just couldn't get our groove. Once we were married, things got into a groove and me ML about once a week. Not enough for me, but I could settle for one good connection a week. That was our norm.
I have always had to initiate sex. My husband has never been sexually aggresive. There have been many times that I have thought that he might be gay, having an affair, depressed, etc... He has secretivly watched adult movies and hides adult magazines, which leads me to believe he's at least not gay!
Early in our marriage I had an "emotional affair" and my husband found out. We went through counceling and I told him that I wasn't getting enough attention from him. Now let me say this, I am not a needy person, but a woman needs to hear every now and then that her spouse finds her attractive and desirable. I am guilty of seeking attention from other men to fill that void. After 8 years of marriage I still feel that way.
The past year and I half has been a rocky one. I became pregnant and had a rough prenancy. I was on bed rest for two months which put out the last flickering flame that was left in our sex life. In the year that our baby was born we have ML only 5 or 6 times.
I work a full time job and do 90% of the child care when we are home and still have a HD sex drive. He falls asleep on the couch right after dinner. Since having a child the feeling of lonliness has escaladed. Last week I was brave enough to look at the relationship section of the book store and found the SSM. H saw me reading it and was open to discussion. He admits there is a problem in the relationship. He read the first couple chapters of the book (till the part that described him anyway!) and then stopped. He says he never has the desire to have sex but once he's get's going he enjoys it. That is fine and dandy but he has to agree to do it!
Anyway...lonley, isolated, sad, questioning my self worth, ugly, undesireable, roomate. Those are all the things I am feeling.
I will anxiosly await your book...thanks for attacking this subject!!
~DN~
"I just want to live happily-ever-after every now and then." Jimmy Buffett
