I have been reading the book SSM but I haven't asked my husband to read it. We have not had sex in over a year and it has made very depressed and I question myself about who I am and how I look all the time. I am a healthy 37 year old female who is very active. He is 42 with some health problems but he assures me that is not the cause of our problem and will not go see a doctor. He doesn't like talking about sex with me and seems content to live without it. He never initiates any type of intimacy with me. We have only been married about three years and I noticed his lack of interest on the honeymoon. We never had sex in the first month of our marriage and when we finally did have sex I had to make the first move. We celebrate our anniversary every year but it never leads to the bedroom.
I was very clear while we were dating about how important sex was to me and he seemed okay with it at the time but he has since told me that he has never had much of a desire for sex. To make matters worse I tried having an affair but the OM couldn't maintain an erection which just made me feel even more unattractive and undesireable.
We started seeing a marriage counselor but he only goes if he feels like it or can make the time. I try staying busy but it gets so hard. I no longer approach him with the subject because I don't want to upset him or make hime feel bad so now I don't know where to turn. I want to stay together but not like this.
