Michele,
Many thanks for this post.

I don't know why I need to know this, but I do. I need to know that this happens to other men and then I can proceed with my plan of action.

Without that knowledge I am left to wonder why, out of the millions of men, I ended up with the guy who has a severe hangup about desire.
And, yes, I realize that is my problem not his. But your info, as a therapist who has seen gobs of couples, helps tremendously.

From now on, I will look at it as him having a sort of ADD when it comes to his own desire. He cannot focus on it, is always distracted and needs intense concentration to complete the task at hand. I will help him with this concentration to the degree that I can--which would naturally include physical stimulation.
Btw, he has high testosterone so no supplements for him!

Oh and do you think you could include a chapter on that angle in your new book? That most of the men who are LD have normal to high levels of testosterone. I think many women, myself included, hope against hope that it is something physical but the anecdotal evidence from this bb and my (limited) experience IRL seems to be against the low T aspect. Do you find this to be true in your practice, as well?

Thanks for the response!

Honey