Well after a whirl-wind dating and things like going to the Art Museum and not making it home before things got hot and heavy, we married after knowing one another 9 months. I quickly became tearful. The jokes you hear about wedding cake spoiling a bride's sex drive can be said for the groom too. We got in at 4am the eve of our wedding, and promptly fell asleep.

A few weeks later, he went to a sports club where he was a contestant, and had been a member long before we met. This was a great opportunity for his guy's night and my tub soak. At first he'd come home timely and very interested in the bath oils and other nice things and all was fine. Then he would come home later with no interest in late night activities. He reminds me often of my "locking him out" once, but not the bedroom as he states for there was no lock on the door. I felt that since this was the crowd he ran with before our marriage, obviously some delight had caught his interest and I rebelled. I was wrong, but those were my honest feelings. I had obviously been replaced, for we all KNOW that a guy needs sex more than once a month or so.

I eventually went with him to the club and took up the sport and it was obvious that there was no "squeeze" there.

What was wrong with me? His first wife gained weight and ran home to momma. I was careful not to. I couldn't initiate anything and my ego died. I was good at sexual adventures, or so I thought. I went thru hoops to please him and still no contact. It was shattering.

As it turns out, he was more than LD he was ED. But not concerned enough to have it fixed or to seek help.

Frankly I know think there is a kind of guy who loves being a kid, taken care of by their mothers and uses their wives as an extension of that caring. I do think that they suffer from wedding cake poisoning and get complacent too easily. During the "In-Love and Blinded" time, we girls don't see that, and have not been raised by our parents to consider it. Have you ever heard of the parental talk, "Beware of the sexually asleep?" NO. It has always been "Beware of the sexual wolf, the horny guy that thinks only with the head below his waist." That, is Bunk!


I have been married 25 years, and have a lovely daughter she diverted some of my ache. My hobies took some too. She is now out on her own, and I have been in counselling for 2 years for depession and brought on by his controll without reward. I have told myself that I cannot get a divorse while working on her wedding. Now I wonder if I have been honest with myself on that and wonder what I will do after the wedding is over.

Young women, alive women be ware! I feel as if he is plugged into my hip with an extension cord, sapping all my energy and giving nothing in return. As some science-fiction/fantasies state "Drinking of my essence". I have aged easily 10 years in the last 3 with this delema. It is not in the least bit healthy. Yet from a judicial settlement point of view the courts would not be kind to me, adding more stress to the desission.

Pity me that the heart is slow to learn What the swift mind beholds at every turn. Edna St. Vincent Millay