Part of the problem, for me, has been in learning to accept that my H does not notice beauty in the way that I do.
So I get validation from other men but not my own husband. I realize the HDH's get validation from other women, as well, but not nearly to the same degree that the HDW's do--men being men, after all right! For a very long time, I thought he was simply withholding his validation from me. That was a small part of it but the greater truth is that he just doesn't notice it. He's not being malicious, it just crosses his mind much less.
I was reminded of this last night in the grocery store as me and the guy standing behind me were both checking out the next girl in line, who was the proud owner of a beautiful tush. I thought, My H wouldn't have even noticed her! LOL
