I agree, des, and I think others will, too, that one of the important components of sex with our partners is validation of our womanliness.
Stubborn wrote
Quote: It was a conference presentation by ??? Bill Doherty maybe? He mentioned speaking to a therapist friend of his, a woman whose husband had become totally impotent because of some physical problem (he could still have an orgasm, but no erection). The author was amazed that his friend reported that she and her H had a great sex life and were thrilled that they had the opportunity to discover what lies beyond the limited sex they had before. Lest you think they were doing anything wild, she was basically straddling and rubbing, which got them both the big O that they found to be way better than that from the old way.
It seems to me that many people focus on what they don't (or might not) have around sex when no matter how much you don't have, there are still infinite possibilities in what you do have. I think all sexual problems exist entirely in the brain. Except in cases of overcoming abuse, sexual problems all have to do with attitude and (lack of) imagination.
I absolutely agree with this. My husband was completely impotent due to diabetes and also did not ejaculate, but still had spine-shaking orgasms. During the early part of our marriage (before the depression took its toll) our sex life was very imaginative and loving. One of the best periods in our life was a time when he was at home for a week recuperating from leg bypass surgery (still had both legs at this point) and all we did all day was eat, watch movies, and ML.
Anyone who wonders about this subject just has to watch that Viet Nam era movie "Coming Home" with Jane Fonda and Jon Voight, where Jon, the paraplegic, gives Jane her first orgasm. That scene is one of the hottest ever filmed.
