I thought I would chime in here about the "not needing an erection to have sex." This is true however, it would never occur to my H that holding me, stroking me, telling me I'm sexy and giving me oral or a hj would be sufficient sometimes. I have even mentioned this but it doesn't happen. When couples have such disparate desires and are in gridlock it seems that there is no negotiation around the issue of sex. As in, "I understand that you want sex but I am too tired, stressed, etc... so how about x?"
My H had a few erectile difficulties early in the R due to anxiety - he had only had two prior lovers and didn't have much experience even with them. Now he doesn't have that trouble but I still wonder to what extent he worries about it. He may not worry about it under normal circumstances but when he is stressed or tired the worry might surface. KWIM?
