Hi Michele, I've been pondering picking up your SSM book...
I'd have to say that I'm definatley the more interested of the two of us. My H wants sex very infrequently compared to me. He would be happy with, maybe, twice a month. Me--I want two or three times a week.
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For starters, I would be thrilled if you would just write about what happens (ed) in your marriage around this sexual gap. How did it start?
Sometime after we got married--our third anniversary is in March. I may have just not noticed the difference before we got married, since I was still in college and we were physically apart. It seemed like such a little thing at first...just sort of got bigger.
H's interest seems to be in fits and starts. Once I can get him rolling, the frequency definately goes up. But...that time of the month rolls around, forces a break, and poof, it's all gone again.
To be honest, H seems the most interested every time we've "reconnected." So--when we first started dating. And when we reconciled the first time. And when we reconciled the second time. (The whole reason I came across the site in the first place. )
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What sorts of problems does it create in your marriage...in your life?
Geeze... Well, I feel closer with H when we have sex. When we don't, I start to feel cranky and critical. (I've been fighting these tendencies really hard!) I feel alone. I feel frustrated. And, if it goes long enough, I feel unattractive and unwanted. Unappreciated. Alone. Even though H is giving me plenty of affection in other ways--even plenty of physical touch. Just...no sex. Says he's "just not interested."
Also...wanted to add that if it goes long enough, I start to get rather...preoccupied...lol Can be kind of distracting when I'm trying to work.
