Thank you for addressing the subject of a HDW/LDM specifically. Your SSM book and this board have already been a big help to me; in a world where men are supposed to be ever ready for sex and women objects of desire, I feel less alone and more capable in dealing with this issue. As a woman, I find that sexual rejection goes to the core of my being and I personalize the pain in a way that perhaps a man does not. I hope your new book will open more doors to those struggling in shame and silence.
One advantage I feel I have as a woman is my ability to share and discuss my feelings. Even though the HDW/LDM is more of a hidden dynamic, here on the board I have found a great group of women who understand firsthand the emotions of rejection and we support one another. What's missing from the BB is a similar discussion from LDM-- in the 8 months I have been here, I came across only one man who was willing to talk about his low desire. The embarrassment of being male with a low sex drive coupled with difficulty in expressing feelings makes me wonder how isolated these men must feel. Again, kudos to you for reaching out.
My own story is complicated in that I was the lower deisre partner for many years; when I finally got to a point in my life where I was ready to be sexual again, my H was no longer interested in me. As it turns out, a difference in desire was not really the main problem--it was more about relationship issues such as intimacy, commitment, trust, priorities, etc.
As you get more responses, please let me know if you would like me to share more about my journey.
