intimacy

[sage]

I'm having trouble coming up with a concise definition of intimacy.

For a while I was thinking ... well, intimcy is about laughing together, knowing what the other person feels, and yes, making love...having an ease in all areas of your life when they are around.

But in some ways, that's not it...well, it is and it isn't...there's something about "knowing" the other person that actually can block intimacy...maybe that's only true if the "knowing" is really "ASSuming" and it's somehow based on falsehood.

partly I think intimacy is the ability to truly be oneself in a R and also to accept the other person as their true selves. So...unconditional love maybe?

Is it knowing that you are "home" with the other person?

How does it get fostered? I think it gets fostered by opening up w/o blame...taking in the OP's persona without judgement...taking in their reaction to you w/o judgement...kind of being able to be YOU without feeling that if they can't accept that then they must be wrong...and also having them be THEM w/o feeling like they are wrong if they don't meet your expecations/image.

I guess for me it's easier to think about what blocks intimacy...judgement, dishonesty, personalization, a closed mind, blame.

It feels like an experiment to me sometimes...here's a little piece of me that you haven't seen before...can you handle it? and if you can't...can I handle that?

Sage