I know this is all probably just normal process here. Just something I am going to have to go through.
Unsure....thanks for your advice. I know that I can only change me, and I can't change H. As far as what I was doing before reconciling. I had a life and a fun one at that. When H took the kids, I went out with friends and on dates. I went dancing, I went gambling, I went on vacations. I had a blast. I can't do any of those things anymore. We really have no one to babysit, and H works mostly nights.
I know I have to start doing more things for me to make me happy. That is essentially what I lost. I had a couple nights a week to myself to do what I wanted. I no longer have that. And this weekend I am working, so that's what I will be doing!! LOL
About the retrouville thing......H isn't one for that kind of thing. I don't think he would respond positively to the suggestion. I am still trying to get him to read 5 LL's. We have had bad past experiences with counselor's so I am not sure he would want to go that route again.
I am just praying to god that I am not entering the world of MLC myself. I don't think my M can survive that.
On a side note, it seems today that H doesn't trust me. He had noticed that I had erased my internet history the other day, and then today noticed that I tried to email an old guy friend that I used to work with. I have the wrong address so I went online to look it up. He got very upset with me, and said he was nauseous. Neither of the two things were done with malicious intent or to hide anything. I cleaned up my pc so I could defrag, and I wanted to forward some jokes to an old friend. I wonder why he doesn't trust me? I am not the one who went outside the marriage. I don't understand it. Could he be afraid that I might turn around and do it to him??
