Things are going good with H. We had a talk over the weekend. He asked again about ex-bf about whether or not I miss him. I told him sometimes I still think about him and some of the times we had or things he said to me. That hurt him to hear, but I wasn't going to lie. He said if he thinks of OW once a day it's something, and it's only to wonder if she's ok or not. (abuse history ) Then he proceeded to tell me that when he was with OW, his life was nothing but aggravation and stress. He let the business go to cr@p, everything. So now that we are back together, he says his life feels a lot less stressful, he is motivated to build the business back up and get things done. That he's happier. Then he also mentioned that he is very jealous of my ex-bf! Evidently, he has been jealous of all the guys I was dating, not only the one or two I got into a R with while we were seperated.
Last night was nice. We went to a restaurant that he had never been to. I happen to love the place. Ofcourse, the "who did you come here with" questions started. He is very inquisitive as to what I used to do. He wanted to know if I missed dating, going out dancing, etc. I told him I did miss going out dancing, but not much else. I asked him if he missed his freedom. His response was he didn't think of it as freedom, he spent a lot of nights home alone just watching movies. He then floored me by telling me there were many times he just wanted to pick up the phone and call me "just to talk".
I really didn't know what to say, so I didn't really say anything. I just looked at him and smiled.
Not to say that things are perfect. They aren't. We had a disagreement the other morning. Instead of what used to happen (defensiveness, screaming and yelling) we were able to get angry with each other and not have it escalate. It lasted all of ten minutes, then we solved it and it ended with hugs and kisses.
Overall, things seem to be moving in the right direction. There is the issue of ML. We both have HD's, but when I am tired, I am tired....I loose the "mood" so to speak. So, it's a bit of an issue. I get up early every morning for work. By the time the kids are in bed and SLEEPING at night, I am ready for bed. Anyone else ever have this issue? I don't know what to do about it. It was easy before we seperated, I was a stay at home mom not a full time worker. I carry the health coverage so I can't leave my job, plus I like it and I don't want to. Any tips would be appreciated!!!
