Penngirl, I think you did a good job thinking about some of the things you need from your H. I'm eager to hear how your conversation went tonight. It was really nice of you to think of his feelings instead of going to work.
The next thing that you might want to think about is try reading a book together since he's not much of a reader and you need time to open up. I'm thinking that way you'll both take it slow since you'll both be doing something that is a little umcomfortable for you.
I understand now how you need more time to trust. That is something that perhaps reading a book or Retrouviaille or a C could help both of you with. I know most men like to try to put stuff in the past a lot sooner that most women are able to.
I'm really sorry that you feel terrible right now. I have heard other people say things like that too. I guess it's only natural to second guess yourself when you're looking at a lot of hard work and you haven't got a lot of rewards from the past. Have faith in yourself that you'll pull through. You can work on forgiving him for past discretions and keep telling him when he's doing well so he'll have incentive to continue.
