Tag- Thanks for the response. I try to keep my posts short. I don't know why.
Quote: sounds to me that your H needs help
That struck me. I was just wondering what gave you that impression? I am not attacking, just curious as to what I am missing here. When I read my posts it sounds to me like I need the help, not him. LOL
Patience, yes I need much more of that.
As far as how I handle my feelings, well I do it day by day. I am not sure how your wife is feeling, and if it is infact the same. I just remind myself that it initially took both of us to get to this place. We both slacked off before the A and overlooked each other's need because we were so concerned about our own needs not being met. Now, I am trying to understand my H and he is trying to understand me so we can try to make sure the other one's needs get met. Everyday we try and make sure that we give compliments, pleanty of hugs and kisses, and do the little things to show we care, even simple things like making a cup of coffee for the other person.
Personally, I deal with my feelings a bit different.I have many mood swings from happy, to depressed, to angry, to annoyed to hopeful. I take each mood as it comes and try to pin point what happened/didn't happen to make me feel this way. I also remind myself all the time that this is a work in progress. Things didn't get so bad overnight, and they won't get better overnight. A lot of time and work is going to have to put into this M to make it work and make it happy and fulfilling for the both of us. Most important of all, I don't ever have to remind myself that this is what I want. I want my M. So, I know I will do whatever it takes. I am starting to come around to H and believing that this is what he wants as well.
To get back to the copy of the cd, I had told him that I thought if he respected my feelings he would have deleted it. After that conversation, he deleted several other cd copies he had made and threw out the original cd's. I haven't mentioned it, but I am ASSuming that it was done because it was more "them" music. That action there showed me that he thought about how I felt. Before he knew how I felt about them, when I asked since when do you listen to X type of music, he replied that he just liked it. Didn't mention they were shared songs in his R with OW. Since he found out that "memory songs" were hurtful to me because I am a big sap....he just go rid of them. Now, I can look at this two ways. He didn't tell me upfront that he bought them for her. So, I can be angry and hurt that he didn't share that info with me. Or, I can look at it as he took my feelings into consideration and got rid of some of the memory joggers.
