[Jamesjohn]

(cutting my nose off, despite my face?)

Yep, probably!

frankly, this is a very tough stage in piecing to be in. You're "there", but not quite yet. Still a lot of "garbage" to work through.

I'm a little short on time, and haven't been able to see much background on your sitch, but here's something that glared right out at me. Forgive me if I seem a bit "brief".

I asked her to talk to me about her being nervous. She told me that she gets nervous taking the risk of initiating and having it not happen. I understood, and tried to tell her that it is just as risky for me when I initiate and that I get nervous too. But the only way for us to get past this, is together and that we have to take the risks, and then try to be there for each other.

I never got the chance. She shut down on me in the middle of me sharing my feelings, and got angry. Apparently she didn't want to talk about it, even though she brought it up initially, and that I was supposed to know that she didn't want to talk about it (somehow). It pissed me off, because the same old person had just reappeared. Emotionally cut off, withdrawn, and defensive. So I took a deep breath, and calmy dropped my own little bomb.

Did she actually "shut down", or might you have actually "cut her off"?

Re-read what's in the quotes, and tell me at what point things may have gone south for you.

I KNOW that you want to share your feelings, and that you will NEED to. Nothing wrong with that at all. However, DO be careful of your "timing". It looks to me like you had her starting to open up a bit like you want her to, then you got off track.

Validate, don't "fix". One mouth, two ears. Learn to listen, and also listen to learn.

Quite often, we when see that "same old person reappear" in our partner, maybe some of the "same old person" has reappeared in us.

Again, sorry to be so brief, don't mean to be harsh, but just some food for thought. I might be way off base here.

Hang in there, and "go dark" only for as long as it will take for you to re-center yourself. You've made it this far already, don't give up hope quite yet.