I agree that what you did on NYE was wrong. And there needs to be a pact with you and your W that NEITHER of you calls the OW right now. It isn't good for your M - if you choose to have one.
I know that talking with OW felt good, you had a great time - but new R's always do feel good! It's not the same as being in a longterm R with someone where there is good and bad.
You HAVE been through the wringer - as someone else has said, and you've put a lot of effort into this. This is the time to step up - IF your W really wants to be with you, and to work on it. Get some counseling and see if you can work out the M. But even if you moved out, stay away from OW and any other OW. It will make you feel less love for your wife.
