Well my H's favorite sayings are "I'm just not happy" and "I dont know" so in that respect I am sure that you and H have come along way. My H has been uttering those words for 9 months now like a broken record. Well I say, if you are not happy then do something about it...Dont keep dragging me into it, one day you love me the next you dont.
But you are right about the lies. If he continues to lie even if to spare your feelings, your friendship is tainted. A true friendship just like a marriage requries honesty. Believe me I battle with the lies my H tells everyday and question why I would want to fix something that he has such little respect for. I respect our marriage, as unhappy as I am right now, it does not give me the right to go find someone else. I would not do that...Even after our M ends (if that is what happens) I dont think I would be ready to jump into a R anyway. That is what I find so funny about it...My H claims he wants freedom, so why jump into R with a women who has 4 kids, that is not freedom. We have one child and even I can see the limitations it put on our freedom. But part of me realizes the R that my H jumped into is not real and he knows it on some level. They live too far away, and it is not a true R when you only see the person once every six months. But I guess that is what he wants, no daily crap, just fun and games.
I think that you are being very realistic at this point and know that the changes you have made maybe to try and save your marriage in the end helped you become a better you. That is commendable. I only wish I could come as far as you have come in this. I am not happy about the ending for you (divorce) but it aint over till the fat lady sings right?
