For the life of me I can't remember where I read it (it might have been one of Calystra's posts that I'm currently reading -she is a queen of DBing and she is my reading material right now) but someone compared going dark to the garden that we plant - we don't go into it and pull out new plantings to see how the roots are - that would kill them. We just wait patiently observing from afar, feeding when necessary (ocasional contact back after they contact us first) until whatever we planted (our love for them to love us back) blooms.
She also compared DBing to looking at our spouses standing at the cliff waiting to fall back into our arms. We can't push them (we won't be there to catch) but we can chip away at the cliff until they fall off.
Of course, for me at this point it's just about peace of going through with D and healing from the pain it is bringing and will continue to bring. But I thought I'll share the wisdom I found was keeping me going when I was still actively working on saving the M.
