I have great IL's but like PHM said, it is hard for them and blood is thicker than water. Ever since this started, my IL's have been supportive. They invite me to family gatherings, have me over to dinner, look for me at church, etc. Of course I am the mother and physical guardian of the only grandchild (well there are a few step-grandchildren who are great). My MIL said that I will always be family and that she loves me. So did my one SIL. I don't know about the other because we are not that close and she lives eight hours away. Although when I saw her during Thanksgiving break, she gave me a big hug.
My MIL just told me last week that I am a trooper and no one should have to go through what I went through. That made me feel good. She knows how I feel, her H (my H's dad) had an affair and they separated. They are still married although haven't been together for over twenty years. I don't plan on being married to H if he doesn't want to be together after at least a year or two.
My BIL who is married to my H's sister has been married before. He was also a LBS. He has three children (the step-grandchildren I was referring to before). At the beginning he told my H that he did not know what he was getting in to and that he was wrong.
Before I left for the Christmas holidays, my BIL asked me if my H was acting any better. I told him basically no. I told him that my H was sure that no matter who I married again in the future, my H would be the father my son knew. My BIL (a devout Christian) said bullsh**t. He said that since our son was so young (18 months), and if I moved away, my H was fooling himself into thinking so.
He said his ex-wife now regrets her decision. She is also remarried. He said he went kicking and screaming from his first marriage but now he has a better life with his new wife (my SIL). He said that my H will realize what he did wrong and he will be right there to say "I Told You So". Kind of nice to have someone on your side like that.
My MIL and SIL still have hope. I am sure they also know more than they are telling but my H hasn't really been open to them either so I think the best thing to do is go a little dark with them. I can't tell my MIL or SIL anything without my H finding out about it. They don't do it maliciously but my air of mystery is somewhat dissipated because of it. Especially since they are my primary babysitters!!
P.S. It still makes me feel good to go over to my MIL's house and see all our wedding pictures up. At least she hasn't given up faith in us.
