Hey crushed, you sound like me! I learned all my lessons the hard way, but I DID learn 'em!!! How are you and H feeling today (no pun intended...) I am GREEN with envy at your connection these last two days. You are definetly handling it well. Keep up the good work.
I am kinda sad today, cause I found out my MIL and SIL kinda lied to me. I am hurt,but I am not mad at them cause I know they did it cause they care about me (at least I hope thats why. If you think differently,PLEASE tell me. ok?)
Remember I said that I was all happy cause H was gonna spend NYE and NYD with family and not OW?. Well, I called SIL and she was not there last night. Her H wishes me happy new year, asked what I did with myself on NYE. I told him went to dinner with my sis and BIL , kisses at midnight, went to bed. He says hey, thats what we did me SIL and MIL went to dinner, played cards, went to bed at 12:05. WHOA!!! I said "Oh, H didn't go with you?' "Nah, he came the next day". My heart fell to my feet. I asked MIL and SIL on their visit here what they did for fun on NYE they did say the same thing dinner, cards bed. When I asked "H played cards??" (my H is NOT a game player ) they said "well what else was there to do till midnight". And i asked them how H made out sleepin in the same room with nephew they said they managed.
OK, heres where I feel weird. I know I lied and held the secret about my A, cause I did not want to hurt H AND cause I felt we were even after his A, so why go down that road. I know I was never ever gonna handle our problems or myself like that again. I know that people who really KNOW me know I do not lie as a rule.They know how much I loved/love H. And because they know HIM so well, they saw how that A could have happened to me. ANYWAY...I cannot be mad at MIL and SIL cause I KNOW they knew I would be devestated and it would ruin my NYE and NYD even worse than it already was if I knew H was kissin (or whatever) OW at midnight. I don't know what they actually did, but I am still upset. I know its not a big deal, hey- He IS with her now, and I gotta expect they will do holidays. I imagine they went somewhere all dressed up. We NEVER went anywhere on New years for alot of years cause its usually amatauer night and we liked to stay off the roads. I HATE THAT HE IS WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did also talk to MIl and SIL (seperately) and it seems they are still both pulling for me,MIL said so, but now I know they know more, and can't tell me. But SIL is still on my side I guess, she says she hopes her brother gets his ass burned a few times, thinks this OW is already lying to him. and they both can't picture H as a father figure to her kids. MIL was ticked off at him cause she asked him to call when he got home (she worries when he drives bike) and he NEVER called her.I tried to explain that H may be happy with this life, and there is nothing I can do about it. SIL says he is still gonna go through with D. Well today MIL calls me at work to tell me H FINALLY called her last night after we hung up. Its been 16 days since he talked to her! She said she wanted me to know in case I talked to h so I wouldn't say call your mother. I said don't worry, he's not callin me, and he doesn't like to be told what to do, and thats really SIL place to do that now, i guess. H has a whole new life and it doesn't include me.
Sorry to whine, and I guess it wasn't that big a deal, but it was to me.