I totally feel good about my decisions now. I feel that at this point I have nothing to loose. I'm not happy about the D but I know that this is where it will end. Life will not suddenly stop and I will have to live with it and it's up to me what I'll make of it.
My SBXH was pleasantly surprised with my "outburst" of appreciation and affirmation. He has a day off from work today so he was going to stay up little later to take care of his art and freelance commisions. I took my syrup and started feeling little weird around 10:20pm so I went downstairs to say goodnight to him and tell him that if he was about to be done I'm up for a conversation. He laughed and said that he ia actually calling it a night and if I'm wired then I can walk the dog. I replied that I'm in the convesation mode not the dog-walking mode.
He came upstairs probably 20 min later, got ready for bed and set up in it asking if I wanted to have that "conversation". I was getting sleepy at this point and said "how about instead we just snuggle". That must have been another surprise to him because he was a bit speechless but okay with the snuggling. I hugged him and said once again that he is a great guy. He smiled, said, I know, you are a great guy too. I laughed and said that actually I'm not a guy but thanks anyway.
Well, that was the end of me being sleepy. I think I might be allergic to the stuff afterall because I started to itch all over. Couldn't sleep but feeling his body against mine I was getting frisky. Probably an hour into tossing and turning ( he woke up and asked what's wrong) I said I'm frisky- he huffed and puffed and said my name in a way that made me think he is annoyed with me. I said to him not to worry, I'm not asking him for anything and that I can take care of it myself.
So I did - except that he kept rubbing my head and my back. Then I did again - except that this time he joined! So...uhm...yeah...got me some booty again! Snuggled rest of the night and now I'm back at work....sucks! I really wanted to sleep in this morning!
