Go back to my very first thread - I think it was titled "is it over?". psluke actually linked them on the first page of this new thread. After the bomb and me eventually moving out of the master bedroom there was no physical closeness. The day I logged in on bb - the day I found it- I was advised to just go for it. And I did. It was hard, he resisted but it opened a floodgate. You have to be tough though - I was saying that I"m doing it for the sake of sex and not making love. You have to let all the abusive talk go past your ears. It's hard but if that's what you want (physical contact) that's the only way. It might not happen right away but if you are persistant it will. I thought I had no chance to do it again after he freaked out the second time but I probably had more sex with my SBXH in the past 2 months than I did in the 2 months leading to the bomb. Go figure. I also changed when it comes to my sexuality. I'm free, open, I actually enjoy it. Took time and work but I got there.