I know some pasts are hard to live with. Especially ones that destroy trust, and don't allow you to clear the air. It sounds like you guys are actually talking about it now, but the yelling/breaking things cycle has GOT to stop. At some point when you run out of things I am afraid you may hurt each other. And while I appauld you for owning up to your part in this, it sounds from what you said that he is blaming most of all of it on you. He did have a part in this as well. I can tell from what you wrote that you felt your needs not being met (he does not know your LL, maybe??) so you felt why should I meet his? Its a vicious cycle, I know cause I think that what happened to us before the bomb dropped.We still did fun and exciting things, I felt like I was getting no effort from him so why should I always be the one who is expected to be making all the effort? I have always complimented my H on his looks and body parts! I truly can say I did not get that back on even a semi-regular basis . He said I didn't flirt with him any more (in public) .WTF? Every time I tried to kiss him in public he always laughed and accused me of "marking him" in front of other girls. So I stopped doing it. I'd try to hold his hand, he'd start skipping cause i think he felt silly about that. So I stopped doing it. That one biker thing we went to , that was one where it ended badly. But he was soooo romantic that day-HE kissed me in public, HE reached for my hand, HE was looking at me like I meant something to him.I reciprocated, and it felt like HEAVEN, THIS is the H I know and love!!! It was like , oh-my-God, this is the way we should be to each other. Simple stuff, but oh so necessary to maintain a heathy realationship.
But it was only that one day.We have enjoyed some small moments since then, but that day will stay with me forever, except for the ending.
Sounds like you both have some anger isues to work on, or get alot of styrofoam stuff to throw. And if he doesn't believe you that you are not fully responsible, or that you've changed, its his excuse, to keep doing what he is doing now. And this anger stuff is not helping, you know that right? I know you are trying hard Crushed, This is all just some damn frustrating stuff. Even when we make progress these guys ignore it so they can go one being posssessed by aliens...