I don't think you should accept full responsibility for the man your H is now. Both of you contributed to the problem. I too have moments where I want to bang myself over the head, where I remember stupid, unloving things and ask myself, why oh why did I do those things.
But my H is at fault too. The pain I put him through in our marriage is nothing compared to the pain of the bomb and the aftermath that he has put me through. I was faithful and loved him unconditionally. I can't say the same about my H, I just don't know if he was faithful and obviously he didn't love unconditionally. So really, who is losing out here?
