Journaling:

Had to stay late at work the other day due to computer crash down (there was a system update that worked for the western US but failed for the eastern part - go figure ). During working hours I got some e-mails from SBXH and did not answer the last one where he said that couple of his buddies will be coming over tonight (Tuesday) and he doesn't know how long it will take them to get their stuff done so he was just giving me "heads up". Not sure if he thought that I'll feel uncomfortable around them ( I did not do anything to feel uncomfortable about) or that he will feel uncomfortable with me around them. Who knows?

I normally call him around 7:30pm as I leave work to let him know I'm on the way (common curtesy). Of course I was still working when he called at 8:20pm on my cell. I did not answer that call, he left a message and called again about 30 minutes later. I still did not answer. I called him back when I was ready to leave - he made dinner but ate his portion because he was tired and was going to bed.

Got home, turns out that he was sick and went to MD who told him it's a viral and highly infectious thing. He did not know what to do - stay home next day (today) or go to work since he's been calling out sicke every week for a day. Told him that probably the reason why he's been nurturing that sickness for the past month is the fact that he did not just stay home for couple of days and let it run it's course.

I was not in a peachy mood and he noticed. Kept asking what's wrong and if I was crying (apparently my eyes looked glossy). I said that I just had a long day at work and was tired myself. He asked if there was anything he could do for me and if I wanted a hug. I declined both offers.

Took a hot bath, got in bed and read for a bit before calling it a night. He called out from work (another of my days off that he stayed in !) and we did not get out of bed until 2pm. I did not sleep the whole time though. I kept waking up, reading, talking on the phone etc. But I did not take a shower till 2pm

Went to the food store, picked up some lunch and now I'm just vegging out. I'm distant when it comes to interaction with my SBXH - not that he probably notices since he's drugged out of his mind with TheraFlu


Oh, by the way. I gave up. Waiting for the paperwork to negotiate good settlement and then I'm moving out. Just have to think about the friendship part - do I really want it?