Quote: Very well put. Making a conscious choice to make love is something greater than relying on a hormonally driven response.
I wouldn't say that it was greater. How does one possibly measure that sort of thing? It is different. That a HD spouse takes their high drive and focuses that desire on their spouse is also a choice and to be commended.
Quote: Beware the notion, however, of classifying the sexual desire of those of us with a relatively high sex drive as being "hormonal". Sometimes we get painted as animals who only want to use our spouses as sex toys. This hurts, because those hormonal pressures usually come all mixed up and confounded with affection, playfulness, need for intimacy and closeness, and, dare I say, love.
I know that HD spouses are often devastated by the damaging interactions that can occur during the intimacy battle. Attributing the higher drive to hormones was not an attempt to animalize - I know that folks have done so, but it was not my intention. Similarly, some LDs convince themselves that their lack of drive was a result of more evolved spirituality or greater self-control. Horse-pucky on that generalization, too.
My heart goes out to the HD participants here. This relationship stuff doesn't come easy, does it?
