One for the ALL the gals

[NotATLDave]

That's just it, Dave. I don't have any horiness for me OR him to control. It's not like it's in there and I'm withholding it on purpose. If it was in there, he could have every last drop of it.

Then HE needs to learn to better see the efforts you are making. That is the one thing I've learned to do. While Schnarch et al. say "don't take mercy sex", I've learned that rejecting her offer, or being a pill about it is completely wrong...like I said before, she usually ends up enjoy it a lot.

Like my counsellor said...It's up to me to make my sex life hot...not my W. And that I should do everything within my moral framework to have a hot sex life whether that be taking matters into my hands or whatever.

Sure, it must suck for my W to feel the way she does. She has shared those insecurities with me. She recently tried to tell me that she might be going into an early menopause. Whatever. If this is HER reality, then tough cookies for me that we don't match up. Should I punish her for it? Absolutely not. I've tried to be kind, understanding and empathetic but occasionally, I need to have a pity party for myself away from her. (this site works well for that). Now, on the other side of the coin, she has read SSM and other books that encourages women to MB and try a variety of things to get their libidos back and she hasn't done one of them. I think she still feels like "why should I do all that work when I should just say yes instead".

Can you even fathom a life where Mr. Peter just doesn't work, and have to be in the position of trying to figure out how to make it work without drugs, or any other enhancements?

Would that mean you love your wife any less?

That would really suck. I feel bad for you. I feel bad for my W. This is who I am. She's probably living with guilt and a feeling of inadequecy. She's so non-confrontational and non-demanding because she's probably scared sh!tless that I'll have a PA on my next trip. Heck, a few drinks and a lingering bit of resentment might have pushed me over the edge in SF last week. I never had a bad thought about my w while I was in SF. It was 100% about me and my issues. But, I also didn't have enough passion to prevent me from doing that either. Why would I even play that game? Ooops...sorry, I started making this about me.